The notion of ego is often spoken of as signifying the image of oneself that one wants to show to others. In the field of psychology, the definition of this notion sometimes varies greatly from author to author and from one school of thought to another. From our perspective, we think that it is a matter of the limited self-identification with the deceptive image that we have of ourselves. This identification of self with the contents of our conceptual mind, of our mental is manifested in the sensation of being separate from others and from the Totality that we essentially are.

Examining our recent past (the last century), we can notice a spectacular development in many domains: the scientific, the economic, the social and the individual. However, modern systems of education are almost exclusively concerned with the development of reason, the intellectual faculties of the individual. The importance given to this aspect of our nature causes many troubles at both the collective and individual levels and implies the negation of numerous other faculties of our mind which remain dormant, in a latent state.

It is in fact the ego, our conceptual self-identification, which causes the experience of dissatisfaction, suffering, rational existential problems, loss of points of reference, psychosomatic symptoms, our lacks and frustrations, etc. (the list is long!). Indeed, one can distinguish many levels and aspects of identification in the idea that one has of self. These identifications develop throughout the course or our lives, at the different stages and steps that demarcate our psychosocial development. These identifications are established by the various roles that we play in our lives: the role of child, of parent, etc. They are also determined by all the social etiquettes that we follow in our professions and our many other activities.

There exists a more profound level of identification which is called “self-reference” and which has more to do with our deeper feelings, both corporeal and psychological. This level of self-reference is absolutely essential in that it comes closer to the totality that we are. As nothing is fixed or definitive in the perpetual change inherent in our realities, we contain within ourselves the capacities and ability to modify, to change our ‘level’ or ‘degree’ of identification.

The work of psychotherapy or individual development helps us to regain a certain equilibrium, to better understand what we truly are, and to better define the contours of our personality or personalities, our being in the world. This individual work enables us to come to a firmer grasp of our essential being, to deepen our level of identification and also, thereby, to determine our objectives and plans. It is in fact imperative to choose what we want, to become the masters of our lives, to take back the reins of our destinies, and to take true responsibility vis a vis what we are and, above all, what we desire from life.

Through the knowledge of self that we acquire from experience and the examination of our inner world, we deepen our relationship to this inwardness, which enables us, among other things, to heal our traumas, to take responsibility for our lives, to improve our rational capacities and to define our priorities. When the aim is to solve a specific problem, this psychotherapeutic work may last a few weeks or months. When we are in a difficult situation or when we are striving to refine and deepen our understanding of who and what we essentially are, this work may require several years.

To be successful in one’s life, it is essential to develop, to evolve, to affirm and reinforce one’s self-reference. Needless to say, the aim of this individualization of self is not to lead us to a narcissistic cult of the personality (which has never benefited anyone) but rather to liberate us from the influence of the collective and to help us make better choices about what we want.

When our conceptual mind becomes less dominant in our life, we gain access to greater spontaneity and liberty, and more responsibilization with regard to the changing and ephemeral circumstances of both our individual and collective lives. By opening ourselves up more to the feeling aspects of the mind we draw nearer to the richness inherent in the present moment as well as to greater equilibrium and inner satisfaction.

A true development of our being is effected through an enlargement of our consciousness and our identification(s). Through the development of our mind and its comprehension, we attain the totality of what we are and of our multiple dimensions: the conceptual, the emotional, the sensorial and the intuitive (or spiritual).

In certain traditions and spiritual teachings and for a modern development of psychology (sometimes associated with the New Age Movement, a mode which, regrettably, often has only the pecuniary motive of making money) the ego is often depicted as an enemy to be eradicated, to be destroyed or erased.

In truth, it is not through the negation of this the ego that we can find our salvation, but rather through the deepening of our identification.

Rather, it is through the discovery and expansion of our identification at this profound level of self-reference, through taking more account of the totality of what we are, of the interdependent relationships that exist between the poles of subject and object, of body and mind, of matter and energy, of time and space, that we reach the essence of what we are.

From the perspective of spiritual development, it is also by knowledge of self, not by its negation, that we can steer ourselves toward the Awakening, toward the Realization of Self, toward the plenitude of what we are in essence: a manifestation of the Absolute.

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